The Holiday Special

Isn't it about time I cashed in on the holiday spirit? I think so. Because I haven't had much time to devise any new toys of my own, I went about my workplace to find things that might be remotely marketable. Hold onto your wallets, folks, 'cause it's gonna be a wild xmas!


My Very First Push Kart
Any child is guaranteed to have hours of fun pushing their very own push kart around! There is no limit outside of imagination to what kids can transport from location to location! Each kart comes with unique dents and scrapes, as well as no less than three screws missing and one bum wheel! (Mighty, Mighty Bus Pans (TM) and Transparent Tray Top not included.)



Match Those Tops
Once again those gremlins in the dishroom have made a mess of the coffee jug tops. Set the timer going, and see how many tops you can match up before it runs out!



Punch Out!
Oh, no! It's almost lunch - did you remember to punch out?

Now kids can enjoy the thrills and chills of the modern workday, too! Learn the skill of being punctual, and the art of punching out just minutes past the end of your work day. Those minutes'll add up, for sure! Hourly wage never looked so promising!


Big Red
How can anyone resist the tantalizing red of the fire alarm? It'll be tough, but you must in order to win! If you give in to temptation, the skin on your arm might just be singed off by the alarm's protective force field!.. and you just might wake daddy!


Mr. Firehydrant
Nothing says "don't panic in case of a fire" like Mr. Firehydrant. He does more than extinguish flames, he extinguishes all distress, too! One might say he makes putting out oil fires fun! Haha, but don't get too carried away, kids - let the fires start on their own!


Oatmeal and Breakfast Potatoes
Because oatmeal and breakfast potatoes are chewed in the mouth, swallowed down the throat, but go straight to your heart.


CAUTION! The Game of Wet Floor Stains
You won't regret having dropped that Orangalicious Fruit Smoothie! And neither will you regret shaking your friend's Pepsi when he's not looking! The game of CAUTION! puts a smile to every liquid accident imaginable!


Blurry Bucket o' Bacon
No game here; just fun to say.


Wall o' Nametags
This role-playing game is an excellent way to cultivate your child's imagination! Tired of being Billy for today? Then try being Steve by putting on his nametag! In just seconds you can be a bigoted, drunken dishwasher, too! Why not try on Lucille's, the ex-inmate salad preparer, with a rotting body in her trunk. Or maybe Eduardo, the convicted pedophile with a knack for making tasty scones!

Hurry! Order while supplies last!