Face Off

Forget Benjamin Button, I've got a real story here that'll make your head spin.  We all remember Haley Joel Osment, right?  The ghost-seeing kid we all thought would grow up to look something like Sondre Lerche?

A fair prediction, right?

But it turns out we were wrong!  Let's see what really happened:

Any guesses to why he's dressed like a water farmer?

As these pictures clearly indicate, Osment's face and body are growing at different rates.  I submit to you the following theories: 1) The nutrition, hormones, and genetic predispositions that would alter size in the human body have all together ceased to reach Osment's face, while the rest of his body grows; 2) With the Sixth Sense certainly being his finest role, his instinctive adaptive survival skills have kept his face is an eternal Sixth Sense stage to keep him alive in the jungle that is Hollywood; 3) The world is slowly shrinking in proportion to his face; or 4) The most plausible theory is that Osment's body and face are two separate entities, who've teamed up and utilized their talents together to make a living.  It's a great plan in my mind, but its genius is sure to run dry when in a few years this is what we have to look forward to...

Furthermore, I submit to you that a movie about a person whose features grow at different rates would be far more interesting to watch  than The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button: A tale of man with a very odd (curious, if you will) affliction that poses virtually n0 conflict throughout his entire life.  What?  You want conflict?  What kind of heartless bastard are you?  He ages frikin' backwards, man - have some compassion!  God!