Conspiracy Theory

Yet another wholesome Family Circus comic strip:



Now, exclusive to only this site, the panel they didn't want you to see!


Please, keep an eye out for drunken sock puppet monkeys terrorizing the roads. I will, too, as I trek back to Rochester in a few days. This means a possibility of less updates, we'll see. In the meantime, feel free to leave some comments, you slackers.

For Sparta!

the downward spiral begins...

"I bring this meeting of the Big Chins to order!
Mr. Crum, what news have you on the front line?"

"Enemy forces have been weakening on the north border.
We'll capture the city within a week!"

"How about the Intelligence Commitee?"

"We've intercepted calls detailing the time and location of their counter-attack."

"Secretary of Treasury?"

"Chin hat sales and bake sales are through the roof!"

"Uh... yes - comment in the back?"

"Is this really an ethical war?! How is any of this justified?!"

I like big chins and I cannot lie
you otha' brothahs can't deny...

[fanfare]

Rice Water.

The board meeting where it all went down:
"Gentlemen, we're on the verge of a breakthrough. Our scientists have managed to capture the pure flavor of water -"
"You mean nothing?"
"- yes, nothing, and combine it with the unadulterated essence of rice -"
"So... white and tasteless?"
"- yes, white and tasteless, to create a dessert like none other."
"So, let me get this straight - we've taken the two most flavorless things on this earth and combined them into a dessert that explodes with blandness?"
"Exactly."

Marketing failure, or pure genius? Discuss.

All is needed now are some catchy slogans. Let me share a few:
"Impossible to like!" ("Yeah? Well, we'll just see about that!")
"It will make you feel slightly more interesting!"
"White and chunky - it's like you in a can!"

And, yes, I've tried some. It was like my taste buds had taken a siesta. That seemed kinda natural, as this stuff did come from Mexico.

I spend way too much time on these things...

Here's a blast from the past - Choose Your Own Adventure! So I've been working on this one for almost a decade now, and I think I've very nearly gotten to the end. Except right now I think I really need some help figuring out the best course of action.


Please click to enlarge!


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Okay, now, seriously guys - I need to get back to work...