From the archive

While I work on bigger, better things, here's something I dug up from underneath a closet of skeletons:



The Heir hasn't actually returned yet, but we wait in anticipation...

somewhere, Woodman is crying

Today I spent a bit of time power washing my windows and the surrounding walls, having far more fun than anyone should ever have with a power washer. All the scuzz, twigs, bugs, and dirt gatherings peeled away almost effortlessly. It was a triumphant moment, for once again Nature attempted and failed to invade, much less influence, my territory. How the mighty fall! Nature, the once mighty conqueror of all, has resorted to measly plans of dirtying up windowsills, cobwebbing attics, and blowing leaves into my foyer. As the once greatest force on the planet, one really has to wonder: where did Nature go wrong?

Some experts argue that because of its long stay in power, it has lost sight of its values and, perhaps, its youthful edge. Certainly, as a leader, it certainly has lost its credibility. Its many factions are simply failing to find common grounds to agree upon, constantly quarreling among one another. Even after so many years, there is still no resolve in sight for the red and black ant conflict, which, as documented in Sim Ant, has taken countless lives. Nature's largest forces, residing in the continent of Africa, are simply unmotivated, lacking proper morale, and, thus, spend most of the day lounging outside.

In attempt to prove its global significance, it has resorted to random acts of terrorism, often missing strategic targets by hundreds of miles. An earthquake out west, tornado in the midwest, and hurricanes off the east coast. There is a clear fault in Intelligence, whose department is rumored to be a disorganized mess, crawling with vines and dandelions. Further rumors discuss the possibility of recalling the ice age in a final attempt to be victorious, no matter the cost to its own.

It is my opinion that Nature is simply spread too thin to have any sort of significant global impact. There is no denying that Nature is simply everywhere. It lacks the necessary numbers to control what territory it has! A withdrawal and regrouping should seriously be considered before doing anything else.

However, I suspect it is just too stubborn and proud in its age to take such actions. Suits me - I will be at the front lines with my power washer ready to spray off any attempts to dirty my window. I'll have my bug spray at hand to ward off any stray reconnaissance spiders that wander into my room. And my chain saw will be fully charged in case any tree decides to lean too far over my driveway.

The sooner we suppress this silly revolution, the sooner I can get a concrete garden to replace that ugly mess of twigs and grass plaguing my backyard.

Another Friday

I should draw more discretely if I want to avoid another critiquing of my doodles in class. On the plus side, my prof liked them.

Kickin' the mud off me boots

People wonder what life is like as an art student. Let me share how my day went:







Now give me back my tuition money.