12.26.2008

Discount Slashes! Priced Percents!

The Languish Dynasty Christmas catalog is running late! I ran about the house looking for items to repackage and resell but found absolutely bubkiss! So I had to get a bit creative this go-round. The list may be short, but our prices will guarantee you can't afford all of it.

The woods make an awesome resource. For instance, this piece of rotting wood makes an awesome sushi platter!
Wow - I know!  Who thought combining Japanese and Hillbilly cultures was possible?

Now, originally we were considering the caption "Photoshopped sushi not included"... what were we thinking?  For just an extra bit of cash we WILL include the photoshopped sushi so you may spruce up any photo you want Japanese cuisine style.





And yet all we could think of was dead squirrels.

And if you're STILL not satisfied, I will personally dig up a stiff from the graveyard for you to use as a human sushi platter.  Just think of it as a human sushi platter with greater guarantee of immobility and with more atmosphere.

What else?  Oh yes!  

Just an empty bread bag?  Ha ha - no!  Add a little natural resources (ie. "leaves") and this becomes the first GREEN throw pillow!

Or, well, a brownish red throw pillow.  Sort of "rot flavored".  

Okay, no one is ever really going to be satisfied following xmas.  This is why this is sure-fire fliptastic.


The Santa Voodoo Torture Set!  
Put a little fear in the cigarette-blackened heart of that creepy, swifty mystic elf, who will gladly practice breaking and entering on your house and still neglect to read your xmas list.  What's this?  Socks, again?!  Arrange it so Santa'll never be able to wear socks again, much less walk.  That'll teach him.

While we're on the subject, children with great imaginations are very easy to shop for.  That's why I give you:



Bend 'em, Twist 'em, Twirl 'em!!  See what creative designs YOU can come up with!


Gahd dammit... what pieces of crap.

City dwellers and suburbaners alike will take joy in the urban flavorings of...

Yeah, it's been a while since I made a joke like that.

Order while supplies last!

12.07.2008

this number goes out to all the hot Australian babes

It's that time again!


Pick a song (A-C, x to stop to play your own music)
then attract a mate with your dance moves (#1-8)







I don't know, what do YOU do a Saturday night?